Respect.

OK,
thanks to a comment on the post dated July 21st, its been brought to my attention that perhaps I was being a little rigid with the indicators, or at least being a little too selective. Indeed, Maryanne, indicators are a changing, conflicted, and of course-superflous- thing, which is why I love them so much. So yes, the amount of services/goods available by phone or online delivery is indeed an indicator of the GREAT, GREAT success of a nation. And one of the things that makes me proud to be Egyptian is the ever expansive network of delivery system: pharmacies, supermarkets, phone bills, fast food, home made food, you name it. I for one am shocked by the shameful display of delivery incompetance in much of the so-called developed world. Its not fair to point out things like the outstanding urban planning of the Parisians and forget to hail the impeccable planning and coordination techniques involved in the comprehensive "Call Center" mechanism we have perfected here in Egypt. We should still work on the, say, music and the torture, you know but still, at least even the most absurd product is only a phone call away, and its cheap as hell.Power to the pharoas.

Official Petition to Amend Economic Indicators

I'm convinced that what actually qualifies a first world country as such despite the inevitably arbitrary (and simultaneously calculated) nature of such a category- is not in reality how much poverty or dust or filth you have- but how convincing your "uppity" parts of town are. Sure there's some dirt in Paris (Ok, I'm pushing it but I saw some ugly mounds of cigarette butts I swear) but what matters is that the clean parts, the pretty parts, the rosy picture in convincingly rosy and you cant say shit about regardless of how well your critical minds deconstructs such "illusions". It's gorgeous, even with the passed out alcoholic and the crazy lady talking to the pigeons.

In Egypt for example, we are reaching a tipping point whereby even the hippest, million dollar real estate neighborhood is infested with filth, intolerably polluted, perpetually in decay and moulding over with the inescapable stench of corruption and all around general doom.

Of course, there are other indicators of quality of life other than the height of trash piles in the pretty streets in Maadi and Zamalek, such as

- how many prisoners the police take to electrocuting each day ?

- thethe ratio of covered : uncovered skin a woman can get away with without risking gang rape.

- Decibels of noise drilling into your brain at given moment

- Proportion of population wearing ALL STAR shoes (I never said the indicators were a good or bad thing)

- Quality and overall pleasantness of music streaming in the street at given moment

- Do people insist on decorating Mosques/Churches with florescent green lights to distract from the more attractive architecture?

- the answer to the question "Does McDonalds even TRY to accommodate your culture?" (Did you know that Mcdonalds serve shisha in Turkey? Outdoors)

Middle Aged Niqabi Turtle Heads Vs Turkish facist Power Trips?

I've always been anti-niqab. It's flat out hostility on my part. To my credit, I have nuanced my perception of those who immerse all which manifests themselves in form and space into a black abyss. I do now believe that they talk like other Egyptians and not only in classical, 'fusha' Arabic. Or in gargoyle tongue. Although some of those Khaleeji dialects might as well be.What I'm still conflicted about is how much I'm willing to defend niqab, in principle. Their right to bury their features and shape into a dark jelly puddle with feet, which granted, they are entitled to. This moral debate came up recently when I arrived in the Turkish airport (which by the way has the most disorienting set of arrivals, I was literally peering over people's shoulders to see their passports, where else do you see a group of Uzbek soldiers in full uniform and looking like an ethnic meltpot). Large groups of Gulfies arrive in Istanbul every day and the women are forced to uncover their faces at the passport check in desks to some weird Turkish government employee. What gives some passport stamping, Noor-watching, Mohannad-loving former Ottoman imbecile the right to force the women to show her face at the length of time of his discretion? The Turkish government? The New World Order? National Security? Whatever it is, something just didn’t sit right and I cant even stand that morphous black cloak, no matter how pimped out the sleeves are with diamond studs, or how gorgeous the lashes pertrubing from the peek holes are.

Never Forget

Palestinians make me Sea Sick, IDF makes me Sick.

I met a Palestinian girl the other day who asked me why I've never posted anything about Palestine and Israel on my blog yet. I told her that when it comes to Palestine and Israel,I wonder where to start, what year, what concept, side, what angle, what to say, who to address, and why. Its always overwhelming for me.

And then I heard about THIS. An actual checkpoint ordered by the IDF to prohibit Palestinians from entering the shores of the Dead sea in the West Bank. It makes my stomach churn.

"For now" the prohibition is imposed on weekends and holidays so as not to turn the Israeli sea side goers off with the unsightly vision of Palestinians on nearby shores.

When questioned about the legality of the move, the commander said it would be easy to find "a post facto security justification" This is truly disgusting. It just plain out says: its bad for Israeli business so lets keep them out. And lets make a law from the highest constitutional body to pass it. And lets worry about explaining it later.

So not only are we using the 'security' argument to keep the business going, we want to make this profit exclusive only to Israelis although its actually located on the Occupied Territories and of course, keep the Palestinians out of the only beach spot still accessible to them.

Pass me a bucket someone, Im going to puke all over the Israeli beach managers and the military and jurists who support them.

Stepping on virtual toes

The thing about making a blog in Egypt, its tricky. its a new field of opposition, or just expression in general. We bloggers still dont know the red lines, we dont know what to expect. and its not just blogging, even facebook is facing some brutal crackdowns by the Egyptian government. its shocking in a way, but on the other hand, they're trying to catch it while its still a fledgling avenue of saying how much things are fucked up and shitty. But we're still a negotiated space. Who would have expected that Ahmed Maher,the guy who created the facebook group about the national strike that happened last April would get hunted down and beaten the crap out of? I sure as hell didn't. I wonder if he even knew he was being adventurous, or daring? Am I being daring know by publishing his photo? I have no idea. I mean, when you're an Islamist, you know what you're getting into but the thing about blogging in Egypt, its tricky.


P.S: Maher's testimony is taken in Arabic but if you leave me a comment or email me ill translate some of the main points in English, although it does involve much swearing, sound effects and muffled noise.

"The storm of terrorism blows strong around us and our enemies lie in wait"

Well the second half of that sentence is certainly true. I havent heard of any terrorists around Egypt lately. Those were the profound words of Egyptian prime Minister Ahmed Nazif in parliament the other day when they decided to extend the Emergency Law for 2 more years.

I dont know which is worse: living under emergency law for two more years, as if the past 27 (million?) were not enough..or having to wait two more years to actually see what god forsaken stipulations actually make it onto the "counter terrorism" law that was supposed to replace emergency law this year. Actually, its a little ridiculous. They promised us a counter terrorism law, are we not good enough for one? Emergency laws are so out of fashion and all the other repressive, totalitarian states will think we're uncool. Lets not even ask the question of what it would take for us to actually operate under a "normal" or say, "constitutional" law. What are we, human or something?

Its interesting the Egyptian parliament, they announce this counter-terrorism bill, and everyone gets all worked up about it, we write press releases, civil society gets all antsy and submits recommendations and panics a little bit, the UN warns of the many violations of counter terrorism laws, and then all of a sudden- bam- emergency law again. Arbitrary detention, arrests without charges or warrants, torture without investigations, lack of privacy, exclusive authority to the military and executive branches of governement GALORE! Two more years of lawlessness just passed by law. Of course its justified, after all, we've had all that unrest and terrorist attacks and we've successfully cracked down on corruption and crime because of the exceptional stipulations of emergency law...erm, ...no wait a minute....that cant be it...