Monday, April 28, 2008

Rich European Junkies back World Economy

Finally, an interesting angle to the global economy! Apparently, because the Euro is rising against the dollar, drug dealers are curbing supplies to the U.S and sending more cocaine, in better quality, to European party animals instead to make use of the favorable exchange rate! I see the Ph.D in Macro Economics has finally paid off for the Colombian drug lords. You have to respect that, no matter what your views on drug abuse. Better yet, since the Egyptian pound is still a joke we will never have to worry about a drug problem destroying the minds and souls of our younger generations. Anyways, we already have public education to do that for us.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Taliban: Our Muslim Ambassadors to the World

Reuters reports that Taliban has claimed responsibility for attacks on Dutch forces in Afghanistan as retaliation for "Fitna", the film that suggests the Qur'an incites violence. Ironic isn’t it? Let's take a second to ponder the thought process that may have occurred here: "They are calling Islam violent? What! We are Muslims, and we must prove them wrong! I will stab you and kill you till you die. Don’t you ever call Muslims violent again." I'm sure they got the point now. Thanks for clearing that up guys, making us proud as usual.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Off with their drug-dealing good for nothing Syrian Heads

The Saudi government beheaded two Syrian prisoners yesterday in the prison's courtyard. As if its not bad enough that they still have the death penalty, and as if its not bad enough that they choose to carry out this execution by decapitation, and AS IF its not bad enough that they choose to carry out this decapitation in the prison's public square, the worst part is that these Syrian prisoners were actually executed for crimes related to illicit drugs.

They kill drug dealers in Saudi Arabia? That's a little harsh. Especially since you would need to be a little hopped up on drugs to understand or tolerate the Saudi judicial system.

Dear Saudi executioner, please take a gander at Article 6 of the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, ratified and entered into force over 30 years ago.

Article 3 of the Universal Declaration for Human Rights.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

There's enough nonsense to go around

I have been in turmoil over my last entry for the past two nights. Its truly unfair to single out Islamic Facebook groups as being particularly loserly in finding titles to name their attempts to form virtual spiritual congregations. At least in Egypt, Coptic Christians have been equally unsuccessful.

The: "Christian Coptic Orthodox Egyptian Church Community World on Facebook" Is another prime example.

Again, I wonder. What is a community world? And does it only exist on facebook?

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Who Needs Apples?

I resisted posting anything about Facebook because I try to be…original? But I've come to accept that the world of Facebook is a never-ending fountain of foolishness and generally entertaining factoids (anecdotes of lesser status and importance than proper facts). My last such discovery was the Facebook group cleverly titled:

"Two Pages of Quran a Day Keep Jahannam Away"

I wonder. In this analogy is Jahannam some body's annoying cousin? Actually, is it an analogy at all or is there some footnote in the Quran that scholars didn’t notice in which there's a precise mathematical equation of how many lines of holy text you should read per diem to keep your soul safely out of eternal hell? Who is your target Facebook-er anyways with such a ludicrous group name? Is there an untapped niche of tormented Muslims somewhere who had been eating two apples a day everyday trying to shun doctors the whole time? Is now the time to reach that population and sway them unto the righteous path of Facebook grouping?

I won't lie to you, my questions remain largely unanswered.


Friday, April 11, 2008

Vanilla Ice released after arrest

Robert Van Winkle (yes that is his real name) was thrown in jail for a while when his wife called the police on him claiming that he kicked and hit her. She later changed her claim to that he only "pushed her". Oh grow up. If I called the police every time I got pushed I'd never be able to ride the metro again. Anyways, he denied pushing her and was released. This is Vanilla Ice's most successful 'release' since Ice Ice Baby in 1993.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Crackdown on Opposition under Anti-terrorism Law

Last night prominent opposition speaker and former leader of the well known Kifaya movement George Ishak was arrested from his home after the movement backed a nationwide strike earlier this week.

State Security Prosecution interrogated Ishak the night of his arrest will hold him in detention until presented again to State Security Prosecution on the afternoon of April 10th. The charges against him are "conspiring with others to incite protest with the intention of committing crimes which violate rights of individuals, public property, and the use of violence and force to prevent the public authorities in the performance of their work".

Conveniently, these charges coincide with the stipulations of the Egyptian anti-terrorism of 1992 which reinforces the authorities' right to crackdown on human rights activism and peaceful political opposition, without really needing a basis, proof or anything really except their own sweet mood.

The new anti-terrorism "law" being drafted will ironically enough, imply even more lawlessness. It allows the police to detain civilians for a period of up to 11 days without pressing any charges. Just 'cause. During this period the defendant is denied access to a lawyer. Oh and judicial monitoring of procedures taken by the police is prohibited, so prisoners are totally suspect to any kind of abuse and torture during the 11 day "interrogation" period.

This particular arrest is one more blow on Egyptian opposition, particularly the Kifaya movement, in the aftermath of the April 6th strike. Police crackdown on the April 6th strikes and protests has been occurring elsewhere in Egypt, particularly in Mahallah, Northern Egypt where 85 protestors are currently being investigated with in neighboring Tanta.

Under International Law Egypt is bound to conform with article 8 of the International Covenant on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights to which Egypt is party to, which declares that the state must ensure the right to strike, provided it is exercised in conformity with the Egyptian law.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Cowabunga Bush!

George Bush recently admitted that his regime approves of the 'waterboarding' technique. No, the American president is not talking about a new form of national watersports. Rather, he is openly condoning the use of a recognized form of torture as an interrogation tactic in Guantanamo prison. 'Waterboarding' is a pleasant and moist experience involving dunking someone's head in water in a prolonged simulation of drowning, in order to get them to 'confess' to committing 'crimes'. As a wild guess Im going to assume these are probably crimes related to September 11th. Congress actually tried to outlaw waterboarding, but Bush proudly vetoed that decision. The CIA never uses torture of course, but they have admitted to "waterboarding" several Al Qaeda members. They're going to dunk every last one of them, donuts style.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Oui Monsieur President, We Auctioned Your Wife

You have to love the French. The nude photo of Carla Bruni, the first lady of France, was taken in 1993 in the height of her modeling career and she is undeniably gorgeous. My favorite thing about this story is that apparently it was expected to go for only $3000 meaning it was actually sold for over 20 times the expected price. Who is the jerk who put up that estimate anyway: "Yes, well she's sort of skanky so let's start real low". I wonder if a similar scenario could happen in Egypt and if all the ministers would be emptying out their bank accounts to go to the auction. I foresee a brawl between El Adly and Shihab. Wait, did I just say that?