Who Needs Apples?

I resisted posting anything about Facebook because I try to be…original? But I've come to accept that the world of Facebook is a never-ending fountain of foolishness and generally entertaining factoids (anecdotes of lesser status and importance than proper facts). My last such discovery was the Facebook group cleverly titled:

"Two Pages of Quran a Day Keep Jahannam Away"

I wonder. In this analogy is Jahannam some body's annoying cousin? Actually, is it an analogy at all or is there some footnote in the Quran that scholars didn’t notice in which there's a precise mathematical equation of how many lines of holy text you should read per diem to keep your soul safely out of eternal hell? Who is your target Facebook-er anyways with such a ludicrous group name? Is there an untapped niche of tormented Muslims somewhere who had been eating two apples a day everyday trying to shun doctors the whole time? Is now the time to reach that population and sway them unto the righteous path of Facebook grouping?

I won't lie to you, my questions remain largely unanswered.

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